28.01.2010 10am

Only a couple of days to go before I get on the Interislander ferry on Sunday afternoon that will take me from Wellington to Picton, where I will begin my ‘Cycle for Life’ journey early on Monday morning, and I have to be honest with you all, I am a little nervous about the whole thing.

A few people have commented that people in New Zealand have one of the highest rates of Car vs. Push Bike accidents due to a combination of our small roads, and the carless manor in which some people drive, often ending very badly for the cyclist, but that is not something that I have thought about too much, because all I can do is be as careful as I possible, the rest will take care of itself.

I have not done a massive amount of training either, actually I have not really done any training except for a few rehearsal rides to check that the bike actually works, so the first day of ‘Cycle for Life’ when I ride from Picton to Seddon will be the most riding I have done in a day, and like I have mentioned elsewhere, I will back that up by doing 90 more days just like it, but again that is something that I have not really thought a lot about, because I know that as much as I am looking forward to the adventure, I am also stubborn enjoy to push myself to complete each day as it comes. I believe in on the job training.

I don’t have any money, some asshole actually stole the money I had raised from selling cards at Christmas, and the donations made to me, from a container I made up and given to the staff at the job I have just finished, something I only discovered a few minutes before I finished working there, which had me at question why I would do something for others when it seemed others were only interested in helping themselves. What made me even angrier was the fact the donation container had logos from a variety of children’s charities on it, and a ‘thank you from me’ letter to everyone I had worked with there. Not having any money to do this trip does not bother me, the reason I don’t have any money does, but that won’t stop me.

My bike has basically been rebuilt, as has the trailer, and so apart from the occasional puncture I am not expecting too have too many dramas with them, I have brought new stuff with my pay each week as I could afford it, and if anything I now probably have too much stuff that I will end up leaving the spare parts for my bike, and other non essential items, behind as they will simply be to heavy to carry. I have a tent, a sleeping bag, and an air mattress to make the nights a little more comfortable, I have a small butane cooker to heat a variety of flavours of porridge and soup, and large first aid kit, so my health is looked after as well as I can at the moment, and with all the exercise I will get I expect to end up quite a lot healthier as the journey progresses.

Being on my own does not bother me, well no more than it has done at any other stage in my life, and you guys need to remember that includes going to Australia after I had separately met my birth mother, and then a year later my birth father, on my own when I was 21, having everything stolen the first day I was there, and then loosing contact with everyone I had ever known, bouncing from place to place, until one day 12 years later I came home to meet my own family aged 33, most for the very first time.

None of that bothers me any more than deciding what I should do with my time today, what bothers me and makes me nervous is that I may not raise awareness for the charities I am trying to promote, that I may put in a massive effort to complete this journey I have invested all of my time, and all my money earned recently, to create a project that has so much good intention that in its concept I could not see how it could fail because even if it only helped one person it would have done something more than if I had not done any thing at all, but as the time gets closer, and it is very close now, I am nervous that all this effort may not make any difference, and as much as I want to believe the world we live in has not slumped so low that some people out there can not see that there is still good in people, that people still care about other people.

I was thinking about this yesterday as I was on a rehearsal ride, about how some people go out of their way to rebel against the system, to be seen as tougher or stronger than other people, and a few even prey on weaker people because they allow themselves to not live by the set of rules that most other people live by, and it is people like the police who have to keep order for the majority of the population, and when I was younger I didn’t fully appreciate the freedom I had to be naughty, or nice, and it is not until I have got older that I now understand what a different world we would live in if there were no rules, no morals, no religion, and I am in fact grateful for the opportunity I have to remind people that our children, and their children’s children deserve the right to learn, and grow in the same way that I have, regardless of the life I have lived, or who I am.

In a couple of days from now I will leave Wellington for Picton, where on the 1st of February 2010 I will begin my journey around Aotearoa on a push bike, taking me on an adventure that will cover well over 5000+ kilometres of costal roads and highways, and the only thing that I am nervous about is that I am not doing enough to make a difference in the lives of those who will follow… please help me make that difference by letting people know what i am doing.

12.01.2010 8am

There is now only about 19 days to go until i set off on this journey that will take me all around New Zealand on a push bike, and i still do not think i fully realise how much of an adventure this journey will be.

Sure i am preparing, i have paid off the 2nd hand trailer i will use to carry all my stuff, including my camera gear, sleeping stuff, cooker and food, i have been for a couple of longish rides on my bike (one was 75kms) and found the distance to be reasonable, but this thing is going to take me three months to complete, i will be doing those distances every day with no scheduled rest days *begins to wonder if i should have included rest days* and a lot of variables that could make my journey very 'adventurous' indeed.

I have tried to get support for what i am doing by writting to businesses, letting people know at my part time job, and via friends on the internet etc, but it seems most people are more interested in their own lives than what i'm up to, so i think my biggest challenge initially will be building the continued motivation to complete this journey on my own, to not only believe in my ability to do this (which i know i have or i wouldnt have begun the process) but the belief that i am doing this for more than myself, that by me doing this someone out there will be motivated to believe in themself just a little bit more, and that may be enough for them to do something that shows the rest of the world that even though bad things can happen to good people, good people still do good things for other people, and that not only motivates themselves, but other around them, because we all can make a difference in other peoples lives.

There is not long until this whole thing begins, at the moment it seems like the only person this matters to is me, and so i think i now have to work just a little harder to show others that this journey is one that is worth sharing, one that everyone can get involved with, because at the end of this i would like to look back and see that i helped make a difference in a few of our childrens lives, that i helped make a difference in our future, so it is time to step things up a gear.

Only 19 more days to go...